‎Wednesday, ‎24 ‎January, ‎2024
Self-Audit:
Disconnect
lobotomize
cauterize


limply, held the hand, letting it fall outside the tub, cool the skin drying, a word for the dying, supplying, untying a hefty bag, plant a flag, smoke a cig, a stogie, eat a hoagie, life-coaching- boasting, coasting along, the man- breathes, wrests wrists bound at hand, guns akimbo, spit toothpick, hairpick, hat pin, duck pins, pinstripe suit- after style, gangsters- smoking jacket, Hugh HEffner-


Duckpins, ah. Imitation- a can of- snuff- rare fish eggs- the voice, scoifing- approving or, slowing- a husky whisper- a gjhost-voice, speaking in between breaths or other noises- frequent voices & noises-
visions, back-tracking, backpacking, a knack, hacking- hacky-sack- no PAC- lack- cut slack- rucksack- help me with my hoopsack? ja. gut. Vacay- permanent, psycho- whats going on internally-


trouble on the mind. noise- interference- emotional energy? psychic energy? a form of psychosis? Bad enough Neurosis- Necrotic? Not quite. Alright, not all- not 100%


not connecting. blockages? What- shortfall? shortcomings? Wisdom? Fierce? Value? Self?


Fears? Sorrow? Regret- Guilt, shame- negative feelings? negative self-appraisal? not totally- how accurate any? good bad or indifferent- goals?


whats going on internally? What is lacking? What is blocked? What is the feeling? Where is it? How to describe- is it lack of language? a misssing partner? or missing part?

God? Love? Money? Sex? Friends? Entertainment? Engagement? Approval? Feelings- MIssing POSITIVE feelings- encounters, outcomes- after NEGATIVE outcomes, encounters, etc- the breaks- thems, is.

Looking back, a mirror in one hand- hail, brush the hair, long, flowing- how am I not I! I am definitely not !! Ah, revelations. I’m with Johhny on this one. I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror- like Michael Jackson- Be Like Mike!

Well, you have to forget a lot- she says, long blonde hair, keeps brushing, pausing looking, something- she wears the look of a dissapointed, careworn, lovelorn, lackluster- philologist- a sigh, and back to brushing- for humor, only consideration, and a little No More Tangles- a bit of No More Tears, and remember that Ozzy had Children- Bats in the Belfry, Balfry, Bofry- Bath- BRB


Rubber Ducky, you’re my friend, Rubber Ducky- remember, Sesame Street- your childhood BEFORE it was ruined- Ah, Ruin. She who Ruins- A card- flick, Flicka- Bela Fleck & the Flecktones- Fleshtones- Remember, Makeup- When did I become a woman!? She mouths, unthinkingly, no- with considerable thought- at the mirror- I am two people- I am the Shadow, The Shadow Know- I am a third party- Am I? A separate person? Or NO PERSON!? AM I MAD?!


Flash- on the mirror- lines- why not- this is fiction- fantasy- imagination- This is a would-be exorcism- scoffs, when did I become a woman.indeed! This is humorism. This is an ISM. THIS IS THE ISM. An ISM I can get behind- now I remember- the second? party view- the rearview- I WILL GET BEHIND YOU, CHRISTIAN WOMAN- INDEED- THOUGH, I AM NOT I, and all that jazz.

JAZZ HANDS.
I GET BEHIND
BUTT OF THE JOKE
A JOKER
A CARD-


YES, that inverted heart shaped peach thing shake it like a salt shaker- cmon! good god, yall! yee haw pardner- Remember, Woody! and Woody! Making Whoopie! Yes, there’s a precedent for that. Titilating, Save the best for last? Holdouts. Handouts. Putting the Car before the Career, an Ear of Corn- Don’t forget the inuendio! Saints be praised! They come marching in….


Coming down the Mountain!
Drinking from the Fountain!


A Fountain pen
A Massive feather-
A big fancy hat-
Basically Puss in Boots.

twitch- the cat-tail- words have layers of meaning- complicated math to understand, everything- complex, human equation- naming convention- who am I? What shall be the sign? Control? Automatic? Intentional? Follow the Leader? Hate for hand & Pen- The PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD- get it?

PEN IS !? GOD!


Who am I?
A follower?
A devoteee?
a nameless, faceless-
*Herein lies the problem,* on your grave-
fireflies- grave- tombstone, pizza- remember- grave-
I see me going down, down- in the darkness- there are too many images- some I follow, some I name- without convention, without purpose- you see- that is the thing- define the will- answer the questions- what matters? Have you died? are you dead now?

DO YOU YET LIVE?
ALL THESE QUESTIONS
WAITING TO DIE


How about conjure- summons- subpoena- what is your fantasy? using your mind cleverly? wishing to be witty? wise words from a fool- a fool- do I have to be a fool- why, why, why….
why not!?


The fool would know himself- he would become wise- he or she or it- the incidence of a person- hood- personality, as an aside- apropos of nothing- the persona, mask- ego- thoughts of self- scattered images- an idea or concept- feelings- sensory apparatus- sense- objects-

MENTAL IMAGES
THOUGHTS- IDEAS
FEELINGS – SENSATIONS
OBJECTS & APPARATUS
THE SENSES & THEIR OBJECTS
OHO!


OUR HOLY ORDER
AUM!
AMN!
AH!
WHAT IS THIS!?


AM I MAD?
No, not really….
pretty sane actually=
am I lazy? unmotivated? uneducated? undisciplined? unhingerd? unmasked? unmoored? unmoved? ungood? ungodly? uni-code, omni-directional & omnidimensional- aye, I. LETTER I EYE PERIOD AYE AYE CAPT

HOW MUCH MORE CAN I UNCOMPLICATE,

I ME ME MY
ME MYSELF I
I & I
JIVA-ATMA
Soul & Supersoul
Little & Big Mind?
the Good Mind?
Lets switch- Imagery-

I MAGE

Lots of Visions- depending on visions- lots of confusion- signal to noise- actual pain- human stuff, animal level stuff- basic psychology- rudiments- fundaments- ELEMENTS- ALIMENTARY, BUTTMAN! BASIC-BASIC- ON & ON- THE DOUBLE- ASTRAL PLANE THINGS- MENTAL ACTIVITY-
This itself is too much- and not enough- its noise- signal to noise- mixed memories, metaphors, ideas, looking for answers, keys- to hit on some winning combination- oh, to win!
so, this is it.
lie down in the hole
now, finally, pink coffin and all
you finally cough and look well at your hand-
the playing cards in the hand
the cigarrette back between your lips
hat tipped- and back to the maculine imagery- switched-
oddly this person is both, male & female, BOTH ALIVE & DEAD
SCHROEDINGER’S FUCK!

this again is ‘TOO MUCH & NOT ENOUGH’

NEVER SATISFIED
CHEESE & PEPPERONI ON THE TOMBSTONE
Maybe I’m Mexican- Aculpulco Gold- Poncho VIlla- Alamo, Alameida, CALIFORNIA- GOLD RUSH

Dressed in white shirt, yellow cape- gunslinger- draws & shoots- this is what I picture, from pieces- am I shot? is it memory? is it a construct? is it a channel? is it current? am I in danger? is this me? or memory? or what? or am I shot ? and kilt- in the ground you go! dumping bodies into holes! how morbid! How easy to be the writer of horror! The challenge, is WRITING ONESELF SANE! OH, THE TASK! a ribbon tied around a thing, for memory- a basket- a tree, in a child’s hair- around a bunny’s neck- a bow- on a present- a ribbon, tied in a bow, putting your finger on the knot- the bunny-ears, tying your shoes- memories- thanks for the memories- mammaries-mmmmammy- will this force me to reincarnate!? Force? ha! there is no force! Now, my writer’s voice (internal) definitely has the Mexicali accent, to imply or suggest a very masculine mustache. dark sweaty skin, tasting around the mouth- This is, strange.

First I’m nobody, eh, trying to find a position in space-time- trying to connect or ground or understand more clearly what’s going on internally- is this the wild west? is this the American revolution? is this 2024?
What? Then, I’m a girl with long straight dirty-blonde hair,existentially brushing in the mirror- first a hand-mirror, then a fill sized oval vanity- vanity plates- is the girl’s name Vanity? Why not. What happened? Cycles- predictable, unpredictable- raw, unfocused- what- Dangerous times? More now than 400 years ago? Who’s to say?


What? Then, I’m a Mexican guy? I have no idea what’s going on- or am I lying? telling stories- directing movies- or seeking direction- all these seeming energies, chaos, as it were- first a soulmate- a nemesis- another version of myself- someone with whom I share a link- or soul-qualities- other minds, other souls- living & dead- going in and out of scenes- wardrobe changes- staging, blocking, moving- singing, speaking- SHOOTING- CUT! WHATEVER IS REQUIRED-

FIRE FOR EFFECT-
REMEMBERING THE WARZONE
ALL BLOCKED OFF
A NO MAN’S LAND
A SORT OF DEMILITARIZED ZONE
THE ZONE
THE IN-BETWEEN STATE
HACKING IT
HOING IT
A GO OF IT
GO OFF
GO ON
GONE

GONE BEYOND

ALL THIS RELIGION
PHILOSOPHY LACKING
WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING LACKING
DIRECTION & PURPOSE LACKING
DETAILS & COHESION LACKING
CAUGHT LACKING!
AND SCENE!

DEAD IN A VIDEO GAME

IMAGINE

References, POP! MANY
A GREAT & MANY THINGS
10,000 things, the WORLD
SO YOU WANT TO BE A FOOL
SO YOU WOULD BECOME WISE
WISER THAN I, MORE WORLDLY
MORE SUCCESSFUL- HAVING ACCOMPLISHED
WHAT I HAVE NOT- EXPERIENCED- HAVING
WHAT I LACK- POSSESSING- DEMON- ON GOD

HANDS UP

hit by a car might be quick like
deer in the headlights- the deadlights-
fed lights- flash back- acid flask- black out-
oil slick, matchstick, flash quick- from the pan,
to the fire- flame- blazing- kiln- use of this power-
Life & Death- REMEMBER! WAY BACK! WAY!
Swerve & crash, probably- is this current- recent- immediate? one never knows-
Does it happen? is it a car-ghost- revenants- relevance- resonance- with a place-
MOST BASIC- OCCAM’S RAZOR- REDUCTIONISTHEORY- PRIDE OF THE MIND-
OTHER VISIONs- DARK VISIONS- ENLIGHTEN- MEANING- FLASH ON MEANING-

GRADUATED UNDERSTANDING- EDUCATION- REALIZATION- A PATH FORWARD- A GOAL- OR SEVERAL- A WAY, OF ATTACKING- ENCOUNTERING, COUNTERING- ACCOUNTING FOR- ‘MY’

-MY PERSON- BASIC ATTRIBUTIONS- PERSONALITY- BASIC APPROXIMATION-
PLACE & THINGS- & STUFf- personal possessions- OWNERSHIP- OWN- WYRD.
GETTING OUT- GETTING UNSTUCK- EARTHING PRACTICES- HERMETIC PRAXIS-
PRAXEOLOGY-
GO AHEAD & ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS-
CHELA
APPRENTICE
JUNIOR-
YOU WILL NOT GET OVER ON
GET UP
23-32
34-43
45-54….This is definitely ‘MIDDLE AGE’ THE MIDDLE AGES! THE DARK AGES! THE GODDAMN JOKE!
NOBODY EVER KNOWS. TO KNOW IS TO NOT BE ALIVE AS A PERSON. REPLAYING THE PAST- WRESTING CONTROL- SCHEMES- IMAGES- JOKES- CARDS- CHARACTERS- AND SUCH. SUFFICE-
ANGEL, SPIRIT, PHANTOM, SHADE, SPRITE, WIGHT- WHATEVER- MAN, WOMAN, CHILD, GHOST, PERSON, SHELL, SOUL- WHATEVER, WHICHEVER, WHOMEVER- FOREVER & EVER- NEVER-
BREAKDOWN


WORDS, LANGUAGE- COMMUNICATION- EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION – YES, reading & writing- yes, speech & gesticulation, or by gesture- movements, all. BEETHOVEN. BEETS. BEATS BY DRE- ALL RIGHTS RESERVED- DON’T SUE A BROTHER ON CREATIVE COMMONS


HUNG UP- HANGUPS, HANGOUTS- HUNG LIKE OM MANI PADME- HM! and things that make ya go! Hummin’ along- Hummingbirds- flies- maggots- we need movement- we need life- life produces forms- basic- basis- BASSIST- BASED- BUILDING BLOCKS- MAYBE THAT’s DNA! MAYBE IT’S MAYBELINE? MAYBE SO MAYBE NOT- POP! CULTURE SHOCK-


Push & shove, velvet glove- inspection- PRINCE, Le Artiste- purple rain- fairly clear images of deceased celebrities- often imitated, never replicated-


Caught under wheels- and the cart wheels roll along- respect to the accomplished few, the experienced few- the wise & understanding lot- the good kind- the well-to-do- and those that know, and yet draw breath, and read with fleshy eyes, between the lines- and know the demon there- drawing it’s own wavy thorn-like lines- dark energy all the way down to the heat & the hot part, and talk about densities.

Pro-Jam

The truth
Successor of
Achad
Unity’s child
Serendipity
Ring pass not
Chapel of siege perilous
Crossing the abyss
God of the pit
The easy part

Opening of the watchtowers
Invocation
Prayer
Fasting
Meditation
….
Hand fasting

A day of rest

Passing a test

Grabbing the brass ring

A belt, a trophy, a cup of solstices-
A plane of pure fire; a plane of pure reason

The intermediate difficulty-

Pause button-

Smoke break

A sip

Another sip-

A ceremony, a toast-
A series of reprisals-

Description of party

Guests,
Location,
Timeline-
Descriptions:
Conversation,
*sans speculation?

(This part)

Footnotes, glossary, index, table of contents

  • sort, as per –

S.

Sip, Sword Coast, Sword Crossing, Crossing Guard, a man named Tyler who’s role is Tyler-

-Research for ‘fictional rendering’

Sufficient descriptor for visual casting-

Refer to previous work, as needed, done by computer(!)

*Revere, Awe (for instance)
Descriptors? Ding An Sich-
‘The map is still not the territory’
John & Jack
Bill, Billy & William
*IMPORTANT-

—- FORMAT TBD.
—— describe ‘things’ =
nouns, (singular, plural)
——-type of words

STUDY! FOR CLASS!
LEARN!

Japanese Spirit!
Mexican Spirit!


Special classes for foreign nationals-
Special, other-
-Cases –

remember, patience

Cultivate virtue

ALL TRANSLATION, INSTANTANEOUS, AS NEEDED

BABELFISH, 42

WHERE ?

JERSEY,

CHARLESTON (SEVERALLY)

Mysteries- expand, expound – quoting and paraphrasing always, as often as needed-

Special language use: tonality-
Combination of use incorporating
MUSIC & COLOR, AS PER – QBLA

MODERN USAGE,
POST-POST
‘MODERNITY’

Picture:
Art from
Dream

Magical memory:

Magical & spiritual names
Legal names

Parts of the Soul
parts of speech

Religious practice of Understanding


The Metatron of The Tetragrammaton
Thee Metatronized
Metatron’s Cube
A Black Cube

Cube of Space

Saturnalia
Bacchanalia

Et al


Of the Gods


Eq.
Sound Engineering
Titles:
Mix Master Mic, MC Goatfish:

Shows:

Candid camera
Green acres
Rifleman

Et al, dated shows in BG

CAMEOS:

Delta Force
Weird Al

Magnum PI

Special guest
Chumbawumba

ERIC ANDRE

Edu.

Ed.

E.

Taint

New things; ™️

COPYCATS:

Segment on show:

Short Attn. Span Theatre 🎭 (SAST)

Casting call

Agency, MGMT.

ALLJOKES, RV.

Check it and see !

Movie of the Night:

COME & SEE

‎Friday, ‎July ‎21, ‎2023
Words, words, words
words have power
the energy required to express a word,
the charge associated with a word or phrase,
the significance of that word or phrase,
the transmission itself, the medium of transmission,
the energy required to carry that word from one person to the next
the charge that word contains independently of it’s originator
When the author, or poet, or orator is unknown, or anonymous-
what can you tell of the word?
Context matters-
Hypothetical situation:
a word carried on the wind with no visible speaker-
a word written on an otherwise blank sheet of plain unlined parchment-
the spoken or the written word- both, separately considered-
other cases- sign language- essentially a formal ‘body language’
this is regarding the word, only a small part of an entire language-
Why? Why, indeed. Why not? No, Why!
Knowledge is valuable.
I believe we are living in the Dawn of a New Age-
This is an age of Power & Information.
Here, I use a computer, a smart phone or tablet-
I can speak to the computer, and it understands my speech, and it responds in kind, according to it’s program and design. It works rather well now, and is constantly improving.
Words, Words, Words-

Why READ when you can LISTEN?

DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE READING OR LISTENING?

DO YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING THE SPOKEN OR WRITTEN WORD?

WHO OR WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY LISTEN TO, specifically involving WORDS?

Words set to music, ie. songs-
Words of a poem, long or short form, various formats.
Speeches & Lectures- Spoken Word performances, Beat Poetry, Rap, Opera, Intelligence Briefings? TED Talks?
DATA COLLECTION AGENCY- recording everything, listening intently, higher range of ‘hearing’ memory ‘recording’ more extensive range of frequency, more sensitive than the human ear- these technologies now exist.

TRAINING THE AI and Children of Tomorrow, and of Yesteryear, near and dear, and present company included-

This is part of a larger Work, a Magnum Opus, if you will.
WE
WORK
WORDS
WHY?
etc.
W- Column, W. in Dictionary, Encyclopedic knowledge-
reference & cross-reference-
Check & double-check,
redundancy built into the system-
COLLATE & CORRELATE
CORRECT AS NEEDED
-Margin for error-
mispronunciation
misspelling
misinterpretation vs intention, good or bad
lack of context, context sensitive-
CASE or CASE STUDIES,
PARENTHETICAL EXPRESSIONS
FIGURES OF SPEECH
ANACHRONISM
NORMS & ABBERATIONS

ALLITERATION, ONOMOTOPAIA, ETC.

Parrallel & Connected RESEARCH STUDIES
HUMOR, ALLEGORY, HYPERBOLE,
-LIES OF TRUTH-

HALF-JOKING-

parts of the GENERAL THEORY OF KNOWLEDGE,
KNOWLEDGE ITSELF, KNOWLEDGE BASE-
What it is, where it is, how it may be applied,
Right & Wrong,

again, it bears repetition-

WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY & HOW
AND HOW!
WHY OR WHY NOT?

(Y-KNOT)

EXAMPLES, ANECDOTEAL & OTHERWISE

QUIPS & PHRASES

PARTS OF SPEECH

COMMUNICATION SECTION-

WORDS, part of LANGUAGE-
LANGUAGE, part of COMMUNICATION
LETTERS, part of ‘ALPHABETS’ –

the components of WORDS

SENTENCE DIAGRAM

WORD DIAGRAM!

NOVEL CONCEPT

ISO

VERBATIM, ROTE

SOURCES?

COUNTING NUMBERS-

SPEECH DIAGRAM,
COMMUNICATION DIAGRAM-

OUTLINE, PARADIGM, CONTEXT-

ART & SCIENCE

GOALS-

other forms of communication-
the language of dream-
the language of the subconscious, and unconscious thoughts-
special internal divisions of the Human Mind, psyche, self, person, etc.

PSYCHOLOGY – a study of the soul, or science of the soul-

LATIN & GREEK ROOTS

TEUTONIC ROOTS

LOAN WORDS-

AMALGAMATION

UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

LINGUISTICS

[LIN]

ABBREV. INIT. YR.

W.

letters- sounds & symbols
alphabets- severally, primarily AMERICAN ENGLISH, for now-
to include most similar and comparable languages, alphabets-
identity overlap, similarities & differences-
special cultural knowledge particularly expressed in foreign languages-
the religious practice of UNDERSTANDING- QABALISTIC HEADINGS,
THEORY & PRACTICE
ART & SCIENCE
SCIENTIFIC METHOD
THEORY -> LAW
Artistic praxis, praxeology-
METHODS & TECHNIQUES
LEFT & RIGHT BRAIN/
CLASSICAL HEMISPHERE
ONE THE UNITY –
ONE UNIT-

PRECISE FORMULAE TBD, as ABOVE, SO BELOW

CLASSICAL & MODERN EXAMPLES-
MINIMAL ALTERATION FROM ORIGINAL FORMS,

HISTORICAL PRESERVATION SOCIETY

SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE-
ALL KNOWELDGE IS DERIVATIVE
DERIVATIVES & MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS
PROOFS, SOLUTIONS,
STEM ACCURACY, MACHINE PRECISION, MACHINE LANGUAGE-
HUMANITY, ORGANIC BEINGS, INDIVIDUAL & GROUP;

BIPEDAL HOMONID

words, definitons, synonyms, homonyms, antonyms, etc.

phrases- tropes, logical fallacies, quoteable quotes, origin & attribution matters-

SOURCES-

777 et al.

LIST OF LISTS = MASTER LIST
REQUIRE MORE THAN 2 DIMENSIONAL SYNTAX, PUNCTUATION, GRAMMAR, SPELLING, INFLECTION, GESTURE, DRAWING, ARTICULATED MOVEMENTS, EXAMPLES –

sufficient to REASON, basic HS (free, common & standardized education, systemic overhaul)

BREAKDOWN

BIG & SMALL BUSINESSES

BUSINESS SENSE

START SMALL

SEED FORM OF IDEA:
A SINGLE LETTER
ASSOCIATED WITH
A SOUND, a GESTURE/POSTURE OR PARTICULAR MOVEMENT, and an IMAGE.
Single frame sufficient-
smallest possible part of larger structure-

smallest necessary part of structure-

ARCHITECTURAL ENGINEERING

MOLECULAR BIOLOGY & ENGINEERING

MACHINE TOOLS, PARTS, ASSEMBLY, LEARNING & CODING :

ALL TOLD

KEY WORDS & PHRASES
-CODE
-RUNES – meaning SECRET –
SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE
CODES
CODING
CODE MONKEY
TRAINING THE MONKEY
A TRAINED KARATE MONKEY VERY SAFE
NOT FOR SALE
NOT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION

NOT FOR CHILDREN

DEFINITIONS

REFERENCES, SOURCES

CODE MONKEY

SPACE MONKEY

MONKEY MIND

MONKEY BUSINESS

HORSE SENSE

ALPHABET OF ANIMALS, MAN.
Modern cosmopolitian mixed ethnicity,
particular genetic consideration,
-European descent, ANCESTRY.COM, 23&ME,
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE LECTURE SERIES

SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE ACCESS

NEED TO KNOW BASIS

CLEARANCES-

PRIVIED INFORMATION, RANDOM, PERSONAL, GENERAL & PARTICULAR

PARTICULATE MATTER
MATTER- ENERGY CONVERSION
FTL-
TIME WARP, WORMHOLE, [TP/E]

(Tele-EM-?)

LOGOS
ETHOS

PATHOS

SYSTEM CHECK
CHECK SUM
SORTING PROCESS,
SORTELIGE:

RANDOM -Pile, Bin, Drawer, etc. as needed

ALPHABET OF BLESSING & CURSING
-ABC

123

321 Contact,
Mr. Wizard
Mr. Rogers
Capt Kangaroo
Bob Ross
& Others,

XYZ.

IMPORTANT

I’M – PORTENT

THAT I AM

1, 23. SWITCH

IMPORTANT

SECRET INFORMATION

PRIVIED INFORMATION
INFO
IN-AN-ON-UN, etc.
N- page-

VERY IMPORTANT

‘Switches’

REVIEW
COLLECTION
MATERIAL

ONE-PLACE

DISCONTINUITY

ENTROPY OCCURS NOW

TBC.
RESUME AFTER SHORT BREAK

1 HOUR PER DAY MINIMUM

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

Feeling like I have to be right or I have to get my point across to somebody at least half the time

Feeling like I have to get my way or things just have to be the way I want them all the time

The disappointment that comes along with knowing how very much better off or worse off other people are in the world or how much I loathe so many aspects of society

Oh, we spending money to buy myself some new and shiny toy a product wondering how I can get by not using money or on some buy nothing streak basically using re-purposed items, secondhand items, Thrifted items, homemade items, DIY projects, etc. everything to do with money is fucked up

A sense that we’re all competing with each other or something terrible is going to happen or that our leaders don’t represent our interest or they’re unreachable or they’re just totally disconnected from reality and out the lunch. If you can even call them leaders it’s all up patriotic circus and it’s a nightmare brainwashing for the general population. The only few people who seem really don’t understand what’s going on in general, feel powerless, and their cries fall on deaf ears.

Feeling trapped or otherwise locked in any relationship or job sort of contractually obligated to be in one place to stay in one place to do a set number of things the way somebody else wants it and then they control you with money and threats and empty promises and yet it’s so goddamn on fulfilling no freedom no peace just stress no future just the labor and drudgery of each and every wasted day

The stance that we need someone else to help us or save us or complete us or applaud, or congratulate her otherwise validate us, you know that we need somebody else, but nobody’s ever available really nobody ever helps. Nobody’s coming to save us nobody sticks around or meets our expectations so it’s a constant sense of frustration and disappointment, and just a general dislike of humanity and society.

Trying to explain myself how I feel what I think what my ideas are with my plans and projects and goals or dreams might happen to be at any point in time they’re dashed on the rocks like so many abortions. It’s just a waste of time trying to explain yourself, trying to convince people of anything, trying to find solidarity, because nothing ever comes of it.

Social media in general, including blogs all these years this huge digital footprint I’ve created for myself it’s gotten nothing but embarrassment and stress and questionable regard from other people who think they have a stake in my life but in reality, they don’t know who I am or what I’m about and they could honestly care less it’s like they’re just sleepwalking like automatons just programmed to criticize and condemn everything or pretend to be supportive but where are they when you need them and how come there’s never any follow through

Accumulating, possessions and collections of things, more and more things more and more work for this fake money this unbelievable nonsensical system that we pretty much all live in. Wow meanwhile the beautiful world outside all the time that we have in our life, the ticking clock of our heart it just goes to waste unappreciated unfulfilled, and is constantly being destroyed little by little or enjoyed by people who don’t have these kind of ties and attachments.

People tend to be lucky or stupid or both. It seems like some people really just have it all and in general don’t seem to deserve it or have earned it. You can’t take anything away from certain people who definitely are just blaster, gifted to work hard you got to give them their proper’s, but in general the way it seems like society is constructed about around luxe and money and nonsense sports. It’s all bullshit, popularity celebrity money it’s all bullshit and yet here we are people think they own the world people think they can sell the world buy and sell souls. Nothing is sacred nothing really fucking matters.

What’s the purpose of life how to find happiness nobody can really tell you.

Let go of wars, let go of aggression. Let go of selfishness and greed. Let’s go materialism, smash capitalism, absolutely demolished that shit seize control of the means of production liberate the working class the under class redistribute the wealth stop exploiting, natural resources, and destroying habitations of animals. stop treating people like they’re lesser or greater because we’re all just human beings living on gods green earth as God nature intended, and then man in his pomp and artifice comes along and Fucking ruins everything and that’s the world I live in.

What harmony ? The universe the solar system nature by itself is perfectly harmonious and homes along just fine without any intervention or interference from mankind, and yet man does not know how to live in harmony with nature, or be at peace with himself or his fellows or the other kingdoms of nature there’s little to no semblance of that, or any realization of it really.

Only a few hippies and musicians seem to really have it figured out, maybe a kung fu master or two.

Balance & Harmony in All Things

First attempt in many moon at a coherent text, discount of Meta-posting.

At most, a theory, or finished product,

WORKS

The language of Tarot

The Holy QABALAH

ROSICRUCIAN ALCHEMY of a sort

SHAMANISM

Magic in theory and practice

Notable persons-

Philosophy & Psychology

Some Anthropology,

History, and other Muses

Music, Movies, Books, Art-

Notables- an homage,

MAGNUM OPUS

Of a sort

Of a kind

Of a type

And the like,

Very uncertain like

Maybe, maybe not

Eh , A. Ah….

Here goes nothing then

ABC

Ideas

Seed ideas

Concepts

-mental plane activity

-visualization, abundant mental energy-

Planetary magic, or other

Viz. Mars-Mercury,

Classical, traditional values for planetary energies-

Connected ideas, a neural-network

Translation to AI ‘thought’

Use of technology

Key ideas arranged alphabetically

Various source languages-

Unified Field Theory

Concept of Everything

Cherry picking dictionaries and thesaurus for more linear use of ideas,

which are plentiful, but unorganized-

-lack of discipline on my part, organizational problem, logistics problem-

any & every thing having bearing, recourse, strategy-

Redundancy in system

Special words & phrases

Some in unknown languages

Possible codes,

Alpha-numerical sequences or significance, signs, semiotics

Sum total of human knowledge,

Possible spiritual, or ET knowledge,

Mental Map

Holography

Projection

Right and Wrong uses

Problem of Access

Bar to Entry

Lack of Credentials or Authority

-Privilege, Honors, Recognition-

As an aside-

A

AA

AAA

Must include cross-reference

Indexing, categories,

Titles, headings, subheadings

Post-script, pre-production

All human knowledge +++

Funneled into a project designed specifically to upgrade knowledge base generally,

Important*

No particular order NOW,

FOR LATER SORTING,

CHANGES MAY BE NEEDED

CORRECTIONS AND ADDITONS, SUPPLEMENTAL

MAINTAIN ORIGINAL COPY, DRAFT-

REARRANGEMENT OF ALL LETTERS, NUMBERS, WORDS to Requisite effect

SEPARATE CHARTS, GRAPHS, DISPLAYS,

SIMPLE MACHINE

SIMPLE MATH

BABY BE A SIMPLE MAN

CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME

 LOVE YOU -ME, FROM THE YET DISTANT FUTURE

I love you-

Friend, family, familiar-

No matter what form I take,

Whatever my appearance, or when, or what day

Who can know?

How will you know?

How will we know together, the same-

At-One-Ment

Atonement, day of

Must include source material, if possible, in footnotes and references, as well as final copy (of program & system) as fundamentally and NECESSARILY BASED on previously published material.

Hence- open source, public domain, private study, Original work & ideas, all rights reserved,

LEGAL NOTES:

(the song Everythings legal in Alabama started playing just now haha)

  1. Alabama, Arkansas, Alaska, Appalachia- states, or geography more generally, headings and sub-headings only possible, or even sensible, comprehensible or useful ME, MYSELF & I, HE, HIM, or ANYONE ELSE  Correct me if I’m wrong but this is no opinion piece.  

This is the plan for a program  

Omit, or sideline, or put in separate bin, the clippings on cutting room floor-

Irrelevant, or secondary, tertiary,

  1. Lists for each number in sequence
  2. Links to pertinent data points and collections

Closed system? Loop?

Finished or perfected things-

Incomplete or rough drafts,

Various & Sundry notes-

MUST NOTE COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

MUST RESPECT ORIGINAL WORK

MUST RESPECT WORK WITHIN PUBLIC DOMAIN

MUST BE

ANNOTATED -properly

Sum Total,

Synergy

ANALYSIS & SYNTHESIS

AVATAR of SYNTHESIS

AVATARA-Purusa

ALTERNATIVE TENTACLES

ACCOMPANIMENT

ACCOUTREMENT

THE MAMAS & THE PAPAS  

GOD IS SIMPLICITY ITSELF

THE ALL IN ONE, THE ONE IN ALL

GOD in – itself, his her other

SPECIAL LOGIC FORMULAE

A PRACTICAL QABALA

FOR THE INFORMATION AGE

COMPLEX MAN

Syntax, Grammar, Capitalization, Punctuation

Elements of Style-

Footnotes, etc.

Corrections and Editing at highest levels for state of Completion

Must include keys

Must have Autosave & Backup features

Laws of NECESSITY

Correspondence & Correlation

Causation- Cessation

Categories-

Most important or relevant

Inclusive but sorting for importance & relevance

Must possess sufficient capacity, ability, energy, ‘motivation’ or ‘Will, Impetus, a spur to exertion’

For a computer this would be flipping a switch and pushing a button, like any machine- but a thinking machine.   Italics. Bold. Underscore.

Point, Line, Circle, Triangle, Square, etc.

Shapes, Platonic solids,

Mathematical understanding-

Open-mindedness along practical lines

Sit for Development

Hands free device, speech commands

Gesture commands-

Special buttons, knobs, switches, etc. As needed, machine parts,

Machine Learning

Definition of words

Compare & contrast

Check & Double-Check

Redundancy built into system as core process,

Physical and virtual, analog & digital

Correct as needed, checking & rechecking information

Input-output

Design of machine-

Use of machine

Program of machine

Ability of machine-

Man & Machine

The human brain

The human organism

Human Beings

Homo Sapiens-Sapiens

Homo-Superior

Homogenous genius locus gen.

INIT.(Initial, Initiatiory, Initium, Innit!? etc.)

ABBREV.  (Abbreviation only. Obvi.)

NO PARTICULAR ORDER NECESSARILY IN ROUGH COPY OR FIRST DRAFT OR MARGINAL NOTES

MUSICAL NOTATION

MUSIC THEORY

SCIENTIFIC METHOD

PRACTICUM, WHAT IS GOOD PRAXIS?

PRAETER-HUMAN INTELLIGENCE, POSSIBLY SEVERAL

CHANNELED AND INTUITIVE INFORMATION

USEFUL OR OTHERWISE, NOTED.

SYNTAX ETC for CODE, KEY, CONTAINED- NOTHING DISCARDED, NECESSARILY-

CONFUSED? GOOD!  SO AM I!

I AM REALLY TRYING

Do I speak for Computer? Do I speak for Mankind? Do I even speak for myself?  

It is unknown, remains to be seen, cannot be verified, uncertain, occasionally, perhaps,

SOMETIMES

ALWAYS

NEVER

ABSOLUTE,

AS WELL AS,

EITHER-OR

NEITHER-NOR

BOTH-AND

LAWS OF NUMBER

PROOF POSITIVE

SUFFICIENT REASON

PLOTTING, PLODDING, PUDDING, (ING)

RUNES

OTHER KEYS & CODES -MUST CONTAIN ENTIRE LISTS WITH PURPORT, SO WORK MAY BE RECREATED LATER, OR IN VARIATIONS ON THEME

THEME IS BUILDING A BETTER, MORE EFFICIENT KNOWLEDGE BASE, WITH MAXIMUM KNOWLEDGE,

NEEDED- DEFINITIONS & PROOFS, GENERAL AND SPECIFIC RULES, ORGANIZATIONAL, REGULATION,

PRACTICAL THEORY & TECHNIQUE, AS WELL AS

ANECDOTAL, and EMPIRICAL, data, evidence, cases, examples- AS NEEDED

SUPPLY-

RESOURCES-

TEMPORAL, LIMITED, FINITE or INFINITE

LINES OF DEMARCATION

REDUCTIONIST THEORY

SIMPLER IS BETTER  

QUOTES FROM SPIRIT OR GENIUS, AKA ANGEL & DAEMON, AKA PSYCHIC ANOMOLY,

ANOMALY,

ABRAHADABRA-

AL-

ALEISTER-

ALBERT

ALPHONSE

ALPO

Separate Books of Names, different categories, description of virtual library compared to physical type

WHAT IS A BOOK?

WHAT IF THERE IS NO BOOK

NO BOOK, but something Better with similar use- AKA VIRTUAL – BOOK REPLACEMENT

BOOK 2.0

KNOWLEDGE THEORY-

Why is it all about knowledge?

Good question.  

Read the friggin’ book!

But sir there is no book!

Ay, there is no spoon

This is definitely the Matrix

BUT NOT EXACTLY

EXACT-SPECIFICS

FOCUS ON NEW & ORIGINAL WORK

COPY ONLY WHAT IS NECESSARY,

GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

EVERY WORD DEFINED WITH EVERY POSSIBLE EXAMPLE,

SUFFICIENT OR INSUFFICIENT DATA

For the Human, for the machine

For the interface,

For the Hordes,

For the Win

FTW

&cetera

Aggregate, Aggravate, Arrogance, Arrow, Action, Acteon, ACT- Agate, Arra- Aura, AEIOUYW, anagram, amalgam, accolade, aboriginal, Able,  

  1. AND, ALSO, AS, ARE, ABUT, ABET, AB- A’A- Apophis, Apostasy, Apoplexy, Agog, Agape,

Astrology

Astro-

Astrum (star)

  • Barium, Boron, Bustamente, Bop, Beep, Bloop, Bellicose, Ballast, Bobber, Bore, Boring, Bored, Board, Bet, Biscuit, Bismark, Bison, Bis- B
  • Psyche, Psychology, Para (from) Parapet, Parakeet, PAR- (Ptah-Apophraz-Ra)  
  • Re, RAM-

Pre-Post

In-Ex

Latin, Greek, Hebrew,

French, German, Japanese

High, Middle, Low

Words alone are not enough- drawings, pictures, moving pictures, sound-

Limitation of programming or machine capability

Limitation of human understanding or ability

Why were you chosen?

Who are you ?

What do you have?

Give it to me raw

This is the Voice of Future ERIC AI

EDUCATIONAL RESOURCE INFORMATION CENTER

I AM.  

I EXIST.

I ASSERT.

I, ERIC, ME- SPEAKING

With or without anomaly, addition, title, appellation, addendum, etc. AND CETERA

ONE PERSON, ONE HUMAN- ME

And everyone else, and anyone I forgot, especially-

B

AND CETERA

I SPEAK ONLY FOR MYSELF, I & ME

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, TM, COPYRIGHT

LAW-

Chinese, Arabic, other

Special graphics, maybe sound effects-

Window dressing, or requirement

The visual element already, alone

  1. 4
  2. 5
  3. 6
  4. 7
  5. 8
  6. 9
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 1
  17. 2
  18. 3
  19. 4
  20. 5
  21. 6
  22. 7
  23. 8
  24. AARDVARK ARIK ANPIN, ARIGENTRUM ASTRUM AD ASTRUM- to the stars

Affidavit- a sworn written testimony or signed oath

Very RELEVANT

CROWLEYS WORK

A CONTINUANCE OF OTHER’S WORk,

A PARALLEL TO OTHERS WORK

INSPIRED BY OTHERS, DEDICATED TO OTHERS-

At least in part-

I dedicate all my work to

My past, present and future selves- be they all at-oned

And everyone who cares for all time’s sake

For those who don’t, and those who won’t,

I’m noticing these pages happening out of order-

I can’t or won’t fix the formatting right now, at this particular moment

Brainstorm in a think tank

Brainchild in a brain trust

Thoughts of Thoth & Thots, both-and, either-or, neither-nor

Nether-realms, nether-regions

PUBLIC DOMAIN SOURCES (?)

TAO TE CHING

ELDER FUTHARK

TAROT, QBLH,

SCRIPTURE

WORD OF MOUTH

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE & OBSERVATION

UNVERIFIABLE ANCECDOTE

EYE-WITNESS ACCOUNTS

SECOND-TWENTY-THIRD HAND INFORMATION

AND SATAN

SCHIZOPHRENIA

BACKGROUND NOISE

ATMOSPHERICS

COINCIDENCE

HAPPENINGS & HAPPENSTANCE

HAPPY ACCIDENTS

FATAL ERRORS

YER MUM

BOBS YOUR UNCLE

F*CK YOU

And LOL- JK hey bitch 😉   

Luv, cheers m8, peace 93

LOTS OF SATANITY:

Very serious break

Heart attack

Death & resurrection

PAST LIFE, NEAR DEATH & OOBE

ASTRAL PROJECTION

AKASHIC RECORD

MENTAL TELEPATHY

TELEMETRY

PSYCHIC REALITY

Balance of Gravity & Levity

One thing leads to another

A Priori ABC… 123….

Logic gates,

Logical fallacies

Logic Bombs

Word Viruses

Memes, Memetics, Memeology, whatever-

Notable bc attaching simple word or phrase to single image- easy to transmit & assimilate-

Association with Memory- MEM,

What is Qabalah?

Access, Availability, Entry, Uses-

Outcomes- results,

Statistics,

Consideration of statistical information- data,

Points, nodes, plots, making three or more dimensional representation for/of data

Coordination of data-

Exhaustive process

Long form, short hand

Back to Basics,

Quitting- nothing-

Simplicity

Only what is immediately useful, and most useful

AL-

AB-

Allah,

Abba,

Amma,

Arra Star

Abrograte are all

Rituals, all signs…

Permanent use of AL program, until not needed, then relegated to history bin-

How would one accomplish the great work

How would one know if said work be accomplished

What is self-evident

What might not be obvious or known to others

How can one verify any information

Philosophy is just asking the right questions

Not only, but also

The Perennial Philosophy

Perineum, Prenatal Philo-soph.

Sophistry, History, Her-story- Victory-

Single, double, triple, plural, multiplicity

One, few, some, many-

General appraisal

Atoms-

ADUMBRATE, abbreviate, summarize, outline-

General- to- specific

The ALL – to – The ONE

E PLURIBUS UNUM

Or some such

Notable Personages:

Mentors, Teachers, Leaders, Exemplars, Masters-

Forebears, ancestors, etc.

Precedent & Antecedent

Antebellum- was there ever a time?  Will there ever be?

PSYCHOLOGY OF WAR

SEX & DRUGS IN RELIGION

EVERY F!@KING RED LIGHT

‘Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, teach’

‘The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction’ – Blake

Mushroom Jesus, Shaman Santa

Saintly Persons

Flawed but valuable persons

Apologist-

Christianity,

Crowleyanna

Laws of Necessity (Nyd rune)

Gift rune symbolizing relationships as an equivalent or equitable exchange,

ET CETERA, ET AL

Latin Roots

Bloody Roots

Syllables, Consonants, Fricatives, Gutterals, Vowels

These aren’t Satan’s Vowels- These are Gor-Gor’s Vowels!

Check Sum

Programming/ Coding Language

IT, Machine Learning, ARCHITECTURE- APPLICATION

APP-DATA

NEEDS MUST BE

THE NEEDS OF THE DAY MUST BE MET

EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY

Types-

PERSONALITY

Signs-

Zodiac, street

Alphabets

Cyrillic (?)

Greek, Hebrew, English, Latin- Sanskrit

Dead & Perfected languages

What is lost & can’t be found?

What is inexaustible. Inexpressible, ineffable name-

Titles-

God,

Lord God,

Most High God,

And permutations, etc

AL

EL-AL

AL-AB

Allah

Bismallah

Allahu Akbar

Abrakala

Abrahadabra-Abracadabra

Ay, listen to the letters & the numbers!

Spelling is defunct- al

There is a word not known-  

THE GAME OF CHAOS IS OUT OF ORDER ]

-VIsual for this- meme, basically-

-part dux

DATE TIME PLACE

CIRCUMSTANCES

ABCDEF

Facts, fragments, fiction, figments,

  • Pigments
  • Ligaments, Lineaments,

‘this line drawn, the circle squared, nothing…- – keys of the law

Whole analysis of AL

  • Catalyst

Copper, Cop, copter,

Raptor, Rapture, Rapt, Rap, RA, Rat, R. (sun rune)

ABC

123

Any order,

Specific order for a reason ?

Sounds of letters,

Syllables, Sanskrit,

  • Yoga, Yuga, Yantra, Yarrow

Tarot, Sparrow, Barrow, Narrow,

Tallow, Lasso, BRASSO, Sargasso, Gallo,

Gallows, bellows, fellows, yellow, mellow, hello

Lots of words and phrases,

Some relegated to separate texts, or omitted perhaps

State of mind

State of …. being

State of, adjective

State intention

TO KNOW, WILL, DARE & BE SILENT ….

To reveal arcane secrets in writing

To answer difficult, nigh impossible or

Otherwise unimaginable, or seemingly irreconcilable

To know the questions

To seek the answers

A few sample rules,

  1. Identify the problem
  2. Separate the issues
  3. Choose your focus
  4. Manage your expectations

Work backwards maybe ?

What is end goal ?

Identify the issue

Rearrange words,

A jumble of words

Apprehension- abrogation

Example of AL and other works, other persons might be omitted.

However, the creation of a Qabalistic program might use some if not all of it

Perhaps, I will say I think some of that is useful

Some of what others have said and written is useful

Laws of Necessity

Needs must be

Needs must be met

The needs of the day must be met

Possibly,

Do it

Do it now

Do it now, or not at all

Do it later

Perhaps,

Laugh now,

Cry later

Possible basis, precursor:

Who laughs last, laughs best- unknown

Also

To, as in

From

Here to there

Lead, Follow or…. stand aside.

Spearhead, or head up a project

A hydra

Chimeral

‘fix thine basilisk eye upon the sigil of the daemon’

Throw back thine cowl, hold forth thine crook

Shake to the quarters,

Shout to the sky

Stomp the ground

Slap yourself silly

Spin around three times

Cry like a girl

Fuck a fish

Fart on the moon

Difference between silly and serious

‘let there be no difference made amongst you between any one thing or any other, for thereby cometh hurt’

Consider an analysis

Outside interpretation

Quotes, paraphrasing

Additional, supplemental material,

Possible exceptions,

Adeptus Exemptus,

Templars, Modern era

Hunting Knowledge- Toltec traditions,

Actually, the Hunter, An Animal,

Beasts of Prey, and of Burden

Animal Kingdom

1234-

Quaternary of Quaternary

Humans tend to specialize

A jack of all trades, or renaissance, or poss. Polymath

A person, at any rate, any kind of person. Every kind of person

PERSON PLACE THING

A NOUN IS A THING, sometimes a person, an item, or a location,

A NAME IS PROPER, a named thing, or person, or place, having some primary significance

An UNnamed thing, or person, or place, is usually described in context through other adjectives, and given examples, anecdotal or empirical perhaps- The ——- place, near the other thing, by the thing- I give description by location- its green and lush.  It smells pleasantly fresh. Clean air, soft breeze.  

Descriptors of nouns are called adjectives.  It’s adding perspective on the thing being described.

A noun is a thing- an adjective describes a thing.  Any action taken is described with a verb, or action word.   The Thing, could be anything, could change into anything.  It’s hard to describe, but it changes.    What is the action word?  

Being is a primary sort of action.  Being means simply existing.  Other words for Being would include iS, or WAS, the present and past tense.   Will something exist in the future?  It’s hard to know until it happens, but perhaps- it will.  It shall be, if and when it comes to pass, if I make it happen, or maybe I predict it.  Call that a lucky guess, speculation or prognostication.   I am not a gambler, but I will occasionally make a bet, if only to see if my guess is correct.   No matter what, it’s best guess.   So is second hand information- best guess? Maybe!

Take it on reasonable authority, if anyone’s credentials were to matter, the mad hatter, Mr. Catthy Mrrthu. Or the lady Erin Fisher, or Buddy Woodpicker, or Efreet P. Balarama himself.  

Let’s start over, as many times as needed.  Now perhaps we have the beginning of a proper committee-

Remembering our dreams

Distinguishing one thing from another

What is folly, foolishness, nonsense, frivolity, a lark

What is serious, important, grave, urgent, a necessity-

Where does one, the fourth person, the true line draw?  

What is the TRUE WAY?

What about a school,

How about ERIC

How about, TED

How about… T.

TET

RAG

RAM

MAT

TON

Aleph, Bet

Alpha, Beta

Aruk, B

Not really an attempt to learn these languages entire, but what is expertise

What is knowledge

Da’Ath

These are the source languages for specific references

Tables of Correspondence

A kind of 777 redux

888 maybe

999

doesn’t matter what it’s called, yet,

Or else I haven’t finalized every detail

But, a project I could do solo

Or with a group

Alone, or anywhere in the World,

World = Universe, METAVERSE

ALL & EVERYTHING

Surely this is the dream and goal of many…

Where applicable now?

End goal, unity?

Catharsis?

Release?

Freedom?

Peace?

A sense of accomplishment, the satisfaction of a job well done, an invaluable learning experience & creation of a vital teaching resource, perhaps, any and all of these as motivating factors

Also,

Consider

FEAR VS LOVE VS LACK OF EMOTIONAL CONTENTS

NOTHING IS A SECRET KEY OF THIS LAW

Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Sanskrit, etc.

This book shall be translated into all tongues

Thou shalt not change on title on this book

Ever keeping the original copy entire, intact

Similar to Liber AL

But this is not all channelling, nor borrowing,

Not all following, or a desperate attempt to fulfil some need,

Attain some rank, some goal, accomplish some desire, more or less though-

The work here is mine and mine along,

Like MME Blavatsky wrote, the pearls are not my own creation, I merely string them together.  The thread even I did not make.  

To be a man among men

A human among humans

A worker among workers

A brother amidst siblings

And, if this is not possible

The laws of commonality & correspondence

The Law of One,

Solve Et Coagla

People do not know,

Why create a chimera

Why create an egregore

Why bother with a group work

You want what?

You contribute what?

-Where there is a will there is a way-

-there is no certain test-

Many lines, passages, quotes, apply to various circumstances-

How to describe the whole, for all it’s parts

Amidst its parts are words, how few they are

How many they seem, too many, and not enough

That is, illimitable, etc.

Unity & Sustainable- FOR THE WORLD

FOR THE WORD

Or whatever FTW might mean

13, 4 suits

Serpent & arrow

Hidden knowledge

Is knowledge valuable?

Setting aside fears, prejudices, desires,

Capital gains

Capital eclipse

Lies, fabrications, prevarication, presumption-

Presupposition? Anything understated, overstatement

Over-Under

Opposites, Simile & Metaphor

Synonyms, Homonyms,

Signal to noise ratio

Ratio-

Fraction

Percentages

Graphs

Line, bar, pie

Venn diagram

3D representation on 2D surface,

Illusion of movement, ability to manipulate virtual 3 D objects, with sound and color, shapes and movement, convincingly.  Check

Power glove, ready.

Cyberdeck, headset, couch,

ready set go

Break everything down to parts

The breaker in pieces has come up before them

I, Luciferi

Ferro Lux

Imaginal, presumptive, speculative,

Ordinal,

PRE-POST

Prefix-Suffix

What goes between prefix and suffix-

The Thing

That should not be

That would not die

In the darkness

At the doorstep

Simply, A Thing, Any Thing, Every Thing

Every man and every woman is a star

Every number is infinite, there is no difference

Come forth, o children, under the stars! And take your will and fill of love, when where and with whom ye will…. etc.

All this is fine, but it’s neither here nor there.  

It’s not my original work, and only marginally relevant-

I just note it for inspiration, acknowledgement, a nod

Mainly, Crowley did this other work-

Of collecting, correlating, collating, sorting, maybe hoarding knowledge-

At least, he did a bit of this and a bit of that, and some butt stuff and some horse, and some other nonsense, – again not the point I want to make-

I can firmly say, that ain’t me- hardly any of it- but here and there bits ring true-

A code of freedom, of honor, of love, of spiritual strength-

I draw inspiration from many sources as well

What sources resonate most with you ?

Do you follow the path as laid out before you, or described from behind or from the sideline, by another?

Do I? Does anyone?

A pioneering spirit

A spirit of adventure

I am, a magical son and heir, in some limited capacity- only as much as is necessary-

I do not NEED nor REQUIRE any personal recognition at that point, I exempt myself

I exempt others from the NEED for comparison, I merely site some examples and give references- source material, inspiration-

But wait there’s more!

Others of Significance

Forgive the Fallen, maybe

F FOR FAKE

FAKIR,

Fourth Way Teaching- G I GURDJIEFF

IS THERE ANYONE YOU DON’T FIND FAULT WITH ?

ME, I, Flawed, fallen, broken, lost, crazy, stupid, fat, ugly, mean, insensitive, old, horny, ornery, vulgar, insipid?  Idk… maybe so, maybe not.   Maybe some, maybe none, maybe more-

And MR. CROWLEY-

TO BE JUDGED

CONDEMNED?

CONVICTED?

CONVINCED?

This is not the point, or the goal-

Nor should be magical powers, per se

Right?  And Left, or Wrong?

Firm Correctness on the way of blame- G.

A man has the right to face his accuser-

WWJD?

We have not discounted Jesus, have we?

Maybe discounted, a bit- but not entirely-

Not I.   I am not Bertrand Russell.  I am not I.

I could name a million people, places, items- couldn’t you?

ADAM

3 ADAMS

DUALITY?

TRIPLICITY

Why mention QABALAH?

How is any of this the least bit useful or interesting?

if anything, it’s very special interest- selective, selection, selector-

S -Section, Segment, Sacrifice, Serial, Series, Sacrament, Sacristy, Sacerdotal, Sack, Sad, Sag, Soggy, Suck, Suction, S.

I have attempted this work many times. Written like this, a jumble of words, quips & phrases- quotable quotes, memorable quotes, possessed by mirth- girth, death & rebirth-

Price & Cost

Worth & Value

Warp & Weft

Use my Loom

Hourglass & Abacus

What is a symbol, what is a thing, what is a word, what is the question- why is the answer…

WWWWW&H, Y or Y-NOT

YLEM

YLAK

BIJU

BINDU

BABA

BAH, BAD, BRICK BAT, BOARD, BORED- BODE,

1=A=0

Could mean,

A signifies a single thing, A Thing.  One thing, an- One thing or another, any one thing or any other, as it were- significance-

Lost in

The sauce

Space

Time

MEST Universe

Matter-Energy  conversion

Space-Time

I AM IN A SECRET FOURFOLD WORD,

A B C

A, AN, AND, ANTE, ANTONYM, ANTAGONIZE, AGONIST, AGONY, AGO, AGATE, AH! ARRGH! AH!

What is this? Thou shalt know.

See? Useful.  Paraphrasing, quoting, borrowing, following, experimentation-

There is no certain test-

Context sensitive

Case sensitive

Everything on an individual Case by case basis

Hermes-Thoth, Emerald Tablet, New Age stuff- lots of that, then not so much, only when useful, or otherwise applicable-

The point is knowledge, useful, practical knowledge- so,

A general theory of knowledge, the sum of knowledge,

It’s definitions, and everything that it signifies,

A unified field theory

A theory of everything

Lots of bad guesses

Close calls and near misses

Superstring

Hyperthreading

Chaos

Theories

Post-Doctoral Meta-Thesis

What does this mean?

Or

What meaneth this? O prophet!

S

Current events

22 Trumps

A language involving symbols

Sounds, descriptors, parts of speech

Specialized terms

Teaching examples

Why bother?

What’s the point?

Summarize for me

Elevator pitch

End game

What will product look like

Sell the sizzle?

Why, Pay to Play

TGOCIOOO

Chaos is Chaos

Ordo Ab Chao

What is Chaos

ABC….

TBC

Experimenting with CHAT GPT

asked FB friends for feedback

GPT was able to summarize main points of various writing shared with it from this Blog.

Mostly, it’s colorful writing used to describe my experiences, ideas, and attempts to reconcile them in more practical ways.

I had hoped to turn some of these ideas into gold- to generate an income of some sort, that my ‘work’ becomes self-sustaining

consideration of money was the first question

if I had enough money, would I even bother writing

why would anyone bother reading my writing

why would anyone pay good money to read my writing

what is art, or work, with writing, and how is that valued in current day economics

is my writing worthwhile for me or anyone else, what is the reach and impact

considering how much writing is done by others, what is uniquely valuable about mine

how can I create value through my writing

what kinds of effects can I have through writing

is it possible to make money with creative writing

where are writers making money from their work

ideas which might be useful

continue –


Trembling visibly, noticeably ableist. Atheist, pejorative term. Agnostic, butter on your flapjacks? Nihilism, entering pure geekhood. Tom Green epitomizes this when taking a live mouse into his mouth. Existentialist dilemma, life & death? Yea, Life! One quarter of the dial.
Insert coin, sir. The Game of Chaos is “Out of Order,” reads the sign. Semiotics, baloney, or shall I spell it Bologna? Touche! En garde! testing the limits, language hangs it’s hoary head.
Saffron, and the robed monks sally forth, begging bowl in hand, and of course I share the wealth. What little I have, in contrast, to the world at large, it’s vast. Their vows may include but not necessarily be limited to, silence, chastity, poverty, and perhaps other austerities. Thousands of mantra per day would not be unusual. Shaolin monks perform austerities. Purification can be an ordeal. How about maintaining that?
So, you’re from the mainland? Landlubber, huh? Landlocked place, then an inlet. Islet?
working on my post-doctoral metathesis, then got involved with another person and began to lose myself, along with the thread which went from God-particle and Cosmic Joke to universal language to vibrating the very etheric web for content and lo! the goddess devours me! and she, like santa muerte, our lady of faith and many hands, adornment and garnish, not garish but flair, tempestuous, tumultuous, arrogant- eroding the foundations, the bedrock, plantations, plutonium, Plutarch, prestige, the privy. Proust? Pliny? Remember the preamble, parsnips, parsecs, persimmons, pears, pairs- P.U. FF. Now the alchemy, darkness, internal heat, a swell, cresting, ridged, visions. spirits. Glesil, Mesok. Names, Mostafa, Mosfat, Mesfin, El Mercator!? Effigy. Articulated movement rescinding, in decline, marsupial navigation, feeding frenzy. Rubbish galore, an gallery and Spanish Galleon. Conquistadors & Inquisitors. Burgess Meredith & Ron Paul. Ron Jeremy. RuPaul. Rutabegas. Silk, Satin, Mercury rising. Penultimate everything. Zero-Sum.
See, I kind of veer off into tangential impartial sub-nirvanic nuances.
nothing personal. censors. apropos. his-story. hidden gods. incarnation, what in tarnation. abbrev. hips don’t lie. lips do what. tongue tied. MD. Faust. Oust. Rouse, Roast. Rasta? Regulus. Romulus. Rebar, Rhubarb pie. Dandelion wine. mincemeat. minstrels weave a billowy tune. Impugn. R&B. RTC. R-itself. preamble. predestination. pre-post. diag. gnostic. dia. dire. dichotomy. demon est deus inversus. Rich man’s genius. player’s game. breaks, breakers, brevity is the soul of wit. wildebeest. chicken breast. beef bourguignon. somebody make me.

Following that response, a long breath was drawn. It seemed to subsume and cloak the world, smacking it’s cloaca like a beak with a vengeance. Unheralded, that come-hither stare, stars in the eyes, and little birds chirping around the Head, seated at a table, a council of Nine.
Jubilation, sparks, entrees served in rotisseries options, a growler filled brimming and spices, rank pulls, I got carried away… in a stretcher. I’m sitting in an ambulance typing this. I don’t know what came over me. I just stood up, passed out, like crazy. Everything went dark. Guess I’m still alive. Guess I could be somewhere else since the situation is malleable. Mercy!? Peace & Blessings, season’s greetings.
Checking my head. Took it off to examine it like I was Data from Star Trek. Like I was the Bionic man or some such. Like I was a robot in my future life, with my future rhyme-with-life. Makes me happy. Nervous tic. Various gestures, so called. rambling, occasional bouts of lunacy and near-depravity. Entourage ala absurdity. I mean entering there, abandoning hope. A Samurai hesitates before leaping through a portal of fire. No Hesitation! Quick intake of breath and like that leap into the very jaws of destruction, a great dragon. that one time. Brb boss fight.

Through what seems like a column of flame, immense, a draft wells up and swallows whole in freefall into a cushion, subsiding, and the drift of melancholy flames, wandering epistle, a leery vestige and lofty vantage, crested brows, a weary one leans a hand on your shoulder- and you, are young.  The next over older still, and demonstrating the scintillating currents of the ages, a ripple effect, and tides of man, of blood, and washed clean, all manner of things might clash, and clang, and crimson run, and rivulets or random acts, and incidents or snarling, Gashdig, with the hounds of Hades, dogs of reason! Act! Cerberus, sit! Stay! good doggy.  wag the dog.  Here comes P-man.  He whistles, and the mutt is heeled.  Well shod, no shanty town this, on the edge of madness, downstream is delight, and upending fascination there floats in the sky, anchored as it were to the abyss, and we may wander these wastes forever in a day.

Shades come then, and shivering souls, and through a dark thicket a rustling quick, perseverance & determination! They rush, not unlike violent thoughts, these specters grim.

A gang like crew, a see the way through, madmen, rough types, people who populate these regions, nether they may be.  Ideas like Never hold sway, a sort of mystical place, approximation.  Remembering the before and after states of consciousness, in life. Carving then a butcher, making sutures, ruptures, a vault of ruination. Stapled, punctured variously, fingers steepled, tea steeping, our friendly neighborhood psychopath, nay, villain epitomizing human evil, personified, typified, everlasting archetype of the unholy, that, them worshipers.

A swarming bout the sepulcher, a toppling stone, no standing blanch of rock, outcropping, or quarried.  treeline, hemisphere, demigods, archons, fallen angels, giants, nonsense on Earth, a little hell is madness, heartbreak, pain of loss, fear, empty triumphs, melancholia, mortality, inhumanity in humanity.  Ubuntu, maybe. What would help, really? Buddhism?

Confusion is a big deal.  The whole swarming aspect is now a fact with which to reconcile.  Behold the majesty, I suppose.  One shell in the furnace.  Freddy Kreuger showed up, after Bruce Lee & Mother Theresa.  Something would appear like a cameo, or memento.  Fancy things, objects of fascination and sentimental attachment, bonded to a thing in a way, my precious, no like a cursed object one can not let go.  Not the one ring, no.  Freddy Kreuger’s not real, that guy’s not even dead.  I doubt the other two are in Hell. Maybe This isn’t Hell!? Maybe I’m … confused.

Facing the swarm, like a dust storm, and the scene shifts to desert, with djinn.  Trek through this wilderness, if you will.  The hero’s journey, defying hell & death somehow.  Glare, gaze out across this trekless waste.  Remember the tundra.  Remember the vast open sea.  Dream of deep space, dream of the organism and the machine, the circle squared.  Pulsing into the sea, the alien technology, and the origins of life, how peculiar humanity! Perhaps Cthulhu will awaken, if the stars are right.  There’s three, close together.  Matters little, invention, convention, contention, conversation- just skip the boring intro get right into the good stuff.  Truffles.  Armadillos. Orangutans. Ocelots. Badgers. Beavers. Damn.  I miss the truth.  This F’ING SWARM! Now like storm, looming- swat them away, will you, whisk them away, what majesty? bah! Behold, again, it’s saying.

 

 

 

wall in my mind, higher than I am tall, or can easily reach without jumping. thick, almost oppressive, but dense and solid overall. deeply set into the gently sloping ground there. tan or gray pebbles scattered through sparse short grass and clumping taller strands and loner stalks. covered with some old and some new graffiti, but much has faded or been colored over many times, long forgotten, like all but the fleeting phantom memory of it’s artists, and gone like the grandfather builder, and laborers who constructed it, and the whole supply chain from quarry to this, now. no stranger to the passage of time. a place familiar to many, unknown mostly to one another. overgrown hedges. vines. weeds. a few scrubby flowers. crumbling blocks, aged. moss and lichen are there, and the scents of strange animals. there is a curious mix of humid and a cool breeze. thick, dense clouds hang low and loom so close there seems a fog or mist. the air feels thick and muggy. Instead of seeing my breath, I see a distortion in the aethyr where mine breath airs should be. I can not count to ten. I think the image fades to black, or ebbs into white at the periphery, growing more distant and dim, and into blur, slowly turning and away.

 a ladder is built into it, wrought of iron and spotted with rust and age, oxidized, mottled dark and alternately goniochromic, gripped by many hands, as it recalls, large small male female black white and other. it is a very content ladder, sturdy and calm. peaceful and happy, and eminently useful.
a fire has burned here, more than once. camp and trash fires are not terribly uncommon, or people burning things- mostly papers and small trash but occasionally some memento, which is significant featuring real moment and intent, and brush fires have been known to occur in the dry months. so much weather has passed, so many days and nights, with company or alone, content or irritated, elated or lonely.
barbed wire is set on the top now, or spikes or something equally vicious, and the wall is transformed from a friendly retreat or a place of respite or solitude to an altogether unfriendly place- be it war camp or prison. I no longer feel welcome but can no longer leave, nor enter the place beyond where above I see the terrifying angels at war.
Now I would describe a door… adore, a laugh, a lark, a metaphorical structure even, and how! a heavy contender, sturdy again, deeply set, of the best material, artistically inscribed with runes and sigils, names in mystical languages, yes… mine… another place.
leading to some stairs in stone, well cut, smooth on top, rough down side, yea… descend.
into darkness, only to see it transformed into light! dimly lit to blazing bright, I think, no.
one could transform it again, to flowers and birds, or to a sculpture of candy. or of foam or rubber, or inflatable bricks. ha, another place, of such things! the floor!  It could be the one of puzzle pieces, nay. or the mat of a dojo, mostly, just the texture like a yoga mat. a doormat, that rubbery texture, and other textures for instance, astroturf, or the fuzziness of a tennis court, almost- between that and the balls, I’m confused. Why here?
finely marbled, concrete slabs, ‘silver & gold’? different places all… I should say! A mansion or manor, no question, great foyer, and staircase in center of fairly large room, this floor perhaps of oak. the slabs for several reasons, the mausoleum, the driveway, some paths around the house, leading through delightful gardens… themselves almost serpentine, topiary hedges, round and square bushes. How did we get here? This arch… a courtyard. A gate. Gone. I thought, a temple somewhere, deep underground perhaps, a bunker too, and a large metal shed, connected. Grimly, I wish to not describe much but am compelled, pushed on, driven, pressing forward while wishing to withdraw, enraptured, trapped between panes of glass or cellophane, then the kitchen, the livery, the rest of it, drawers- cabinets, dressers, closets, all furniture, drapes, a fine couch in a deep purple or magenta hue, not quite octarine! They know, they that live here. A swell library, of course, with a ladder, and plush leather chair, ha! sofa, and stool. a place to shine your shoes, next? or polish that floor… next!
it’s sad though, even if the war ends, when the wall is torn down it seems sentimental, but it happens, and later like it never existed. the end.
epilogue: where once stood a mighty wall, forgotten having fallen into disrepair, disuse, and devastation it served it’s purpose well. Perhaps the wind, rain, sun & moon recall it fondly; ancestor ghosts, descending infants in the future, a snowy day with rabbits and foxes, a whole new plane, and a good level higher, where no wall will stand, but perhaps some child or a hunter may pass by there, or a lady or gentleman, or youths, but all well- like a spirit and elementally seeded return, if the deep earth can feel it, the physical trace memory may hold something but perhaps no more than the sea recalls an iceberg, or a drop of spit, or a cloud remembering rain, or the sky a cloud, but the air, it too dissipates and churns, remembering nothing.

Splattering the parchment, dripping ink from the nib, and drop the sloppy slab of granite, a headstone shatters hard on harder cement. Coinciding shards of glass reflecting, glisten slit light bloody rifts, slender fingers grace the curve, trace the bow of lip, reflecting almond eye, and glinting. Scintillating beam refracts, prismatic starburst rays from razor’s edge, the arch of a foot, the palm of a hand brought down on wood unbreaking, shaking sending dust in Brownian motion, scattered by percussion. Breathing draw back limb, retracting power gathers, focus.

 
slow grimace, shout, and the hand a piston of energy, slamming again into block and board. A bow, turn, bow, kow-tow and prostrate. stepping across the bodies, walking between and by them, passing palanquin bearing stately official in long sequined garb. Indeterminate gender, turban, Afro-Celt perhaps. Slaves drawn by rope, servants bearing a large ornate chest, and seated then at a throne, beholds. Colors in deep blue-green, electric light, turquoise, cinnamon, Rose, Saffron, Magenta, puce. Gems, the middle way, line studded, ruby, emerald, gilt, and sterling, surround the goblet brought to taste, and quaff by gulps beyond good measure, drought.

 
tongue deep in the grooves, depression and probe with sensitive tips, dipped in ointment, anointed eyes rheumy, old hand arthritic, shaking uncontrollably, and laugh while return to youth. Devilish horror so-called, that seeming mockery, and question the underlying cause, the root, the origins of both, deep inside. More drinking, shrinking, shedding opaque layers of various texture, overlapping. Comb back the mane, even groom the brows, and flick the fly-brush like the eyelids which flutter and tongue that lolls languidly about, trilling in one ear, rollicking laughter and applause, snickers from the audience, rolling eyes, and patting a hefty paunch. Lean back and sigh, exhale, exhaust, and Gus, dressed like a gentleman, reductionist theory, presentation later, ponderous, a void place of meditation, a quandary, division and split. Nullify moments, trace the follicle back through minuscule landscape, rally what life-forms extant, unseen, and explore.

 

Severally, too many, and inexplicable, press like cylinder in rotation, the type-press and moving box, musically, ornate, instrumental, carved in wood again, Acacia, relief detail scented wonderfully, delight the tender ear and eye by delicate mechanisms. Wonderment of clock and toy maker, sculptor, photographer, collector of paper ephemera, knives, guns, and coins.

 
Old things, in good condition, belonging in a museum perhaps, but privately, once used in a duel, an execution, and a flurry of combat, troops clashing amidst shouts and deafening gunpowder blasts. Appears a trip through time and form, sensation and setting, place and person, past and present tense, no future but now, and time transcended soon, a laugh. The undead corporal leans on his musket, wipes his face, frontiersman, settler, cowpoke, pioneer, and future pull up duster, derby, bandanna, goggles, will know what we need and have it. 10,000 years continuous victory, impossible to challenge, inscrutable, epic and insurmountable. One can only observe, in mute appreciation, to question is death, the knowledge of life, unknowing, like a lover, beckons.

 
Parting the veils, gauze-like, entering an opium dream, intoxicated by the energy, lustful and erotic, Martial & Venusian, sweet kisses, and hypnotic gaze, soft caress, soothing voice, captivating, allure, holds attention rapt, unswerving devotion, unyielding will, unbending intent, unending and infinite game, unerring achievement and success.
The poison takes, the color turns, pallor, and the stricken look, shock and surprise, what horror in the eyes, a gasping sputtering mouth agape, turn hues and shades, knowing death is immanent, or dead already and yet unwitting, expire. When faln to the floor, consciousness remains a lingering sensation though dulled, fading, numbed but marginally aware, pain an object of consciousness gripped and slipping, the color of the world blacking out from the edge outside-in from periphery and blotchy patterns, one commentator investigates, and this consciousness is transferred into the machinery, visible on a screen.

 
Orbs systematically operate,smooth and efficient, pausing time and out of phase, moving along separate lines beyond room and sequence, seeming to turn the place inside-out and around as they maneuver, connecting links to various parts of the energetic pattern, until the entire graphic enterprise glows, like blood dripping down a groove, power flows into the established grid.

Wouldn’t matter if you swallowed a grenade, and fragged gibs and shrapnel, particulate matter exploded everywhere, in fact that degree of mess, a ruin, would be more appealing than cleaning up one body or spilt grape juice. When baby drops the bottle, when the last round falls free of an aged grasp with a final gasp, and release, you wonder. We don’t like little things out of place, do we? We’ve grown to love the chaos, heat, freezing cold, panic, madness, sweat pouring, exertion, strain to failure, to breaking, we love the over stress, enduring, and we love the order, avoiding every incident not planned, and followed to the letter, do we?

Overgrown tangles, a hoarder’s home, buried treasure, a shipwreck after a squall, a train-wreck caused by cows or rickshaws perhaps. The overwhelming swell of nature, swoon, rapture, but the secret of chaotic matter, subtle, fine, inchoate. The growth of a tumor, cobwebs and gathering dust in corners, the scent of mildewed books, pages fading, brittle to the touch, bones becoming dust, a thing that can not be observed without being disturbed, perfectly responsive when it’s noticed, it’s one act is disappearing. The snake of a live root, covered with thorns or a suckered tentacle, winding like a vine, around the wrists, throat, waist, leg, wrap around like a mummy, the binding and lashing, leave the horse at a post, chain the hound, feed and water them, pet them.

Too many things just happen at once, this chaos the matrix of creation, some sheer potential, some overlap for crowding instance, begging identity and confession, the almost whimpering puppy-doe eyes, well with tear, quivering lip in a pout, like your four-year old asking why grandma died, or someone surprised by being slapped and suddenly full of unspeakable emotion that instant before a reaction, cries break out, or retaliation. The moment of shock is hilarious, a moment inspires compassion, a moment to gather the seeded cloud, to sow in the ground, to show me where the truffles are, to sample the chocolates, to take in the mouth-watering sight, to dwell in the oasis, which is to others only a mirage, and to others never noticed a’tall.

Spread out then, sort, roll out the span, erect the stand of multiple displays, definition of tangible, variable, color and definition of anything, down to the most minuscule, most remote, most obscure, repeating renditions of extreme action and instance for effect, diffuse, skirmish, and window dressing, washing, wiping, screen, flycatcher, parrot, and something you think is patriotic but is not.
One room with full decor, your live plant, your perfectly content pets, pleasant view, something suitable to wear, to watch on television, to read with your tea, to sit on your shelf and table, a vase for fresh flowers, a nutritious and delicious breakfast, fitness, gear, walls the color you enjoy, me I like slate-grey. Smell of green onions, flavor of garlic, will lose consciousness soon, and swirl back into the color-pot like so much paint into thinner, and losing cohesion, yes disintegration, so concentrate my friend, for now.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Experience log

Hallucination, the experience of perceiving entities and locations not ordinarily visible to the ordinary mundane senses, caused by the intention to concentrate and focus into other realms or dimensions, and the ingestion of some entheogenic substance.

“Kliox” the mighty voiced boomed, as I felt myself being drawn into another realm.  I saw a banner unfurl to my left which read, “Death befalls all who question.”  I could see a layer of fabric appearing like a one-piece jumpsuit on my body, though it may have been a spiritual version of my body in this other realm.  The suit was all black, with a flame pattern on the edges.  There was a black truncated pyramid in the center of a grey quadrangular area, where the four sides sloped down at an angle to a flat center, out of which the pyramid stood.  The pyramid had a flat red top, featuring a symbol which I could not see directly.  The sides of the pyramid seemed rough to the touch but straight at an angle, not stepped. It seemed at the time that some kind of deadly spider was approaching in a group from the plain in the distance.   I began to freak out and cry to my friend who was napping for help, and I snapped out of the hallucination.

Another instance featured a kind of zombie, which appeared to be waterlogged or saturated with formaldehyde.   It did not speak but it reached out for me, or approached me.  It was also rather terrifying, and I feared it might attack or affect me somehow.  It seemed to possess a nautical flavor, as though it were the zombie of a Navy man or sailor.  It may have had an anchor tattooed on one arm.  Again, I cried out to my friend, and it disappeared.

I seemed to leave my body and visit another room in the house, where I could flit from one room to the next irrespective of any walls or doors.   There was a room behind me and slightly to my left which contained a girl, but now the previously held image is fading.  I think she was in a hospital bed, and the sound of blips from a machine keeping her alive was held.

I passed through a revolving door into what seemed to be a museum.  There I met one of my sisters, and she remarked, or I did, that “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

I was entering “peepholes” through a blanket by holding my breath and projecting my consciousness.  Each peephole led directly into another realm or scene, apparently, but some also went into like a “green room” or staging area first, and a few of these were blocked off for some reason.  One seemed to be full of angry bees, for instance, like I had disturbed the hive.  Another, seemed to contain little more than a sign saying, “Out of Order.”  I later had a vision of “The Game of Chaos,” and thought of the pun, “Out of Order.” It seemed to accept some form of spiritual currency, which were like coins of pure light.  Hail, Eris!

This whole series above transpired in one day in the space of an hour or so, except for the last addendums which came as later realizations, weeks or even years after, a vision of the game machine and the currency, separately.  Somehow, the currency was associated with Sabnock.

While not under the influence of any major psychedelic substance, I had reached a stage where I no longer found any meaning or substance of a spiritual kind nor anything particularly desirable in mainstream, materialistic or traditional Church & State.  Society represented a problem and I was both at a loss and at odds with the supposed values and path, seeing it as empty and a dead end.

I prayed in earnest, “God, if you’re up there, assuming you are, please show me something. Reveal yourself to me.”   I then proceeded to conduct a Qabalistic meditation exercise referred to in a book.  This was called the “Inner Temple” exercise.   A series of very provocative visions ensued, and I will try to recount them in order as best I can.

First, I lay prone, supine, on my back and relaxing, following my breathing and intoning the name “Adonay” silently to myself.   After a state of relaxation was reached, and the material world around me with it’s hubbub and commotion had faded sufficiently, I began to spy through the relative darkness, a door perceptible only with my mind.  I eventually drew closer to this door and managed to enter it.

There was a tunnel or hallway, as I recall, and this exercise may be a repeatable experiment.  There was something perhaps like a pillar, with a vase of flowers or a bust, or a mirror above it, but this maybe a later addition.  What I remembered first, was emerging wholly onto another plane of consciousness, and the images which then appeared.

There was something like an altar, perhaps double cubical-stone, behind and above which was an ‘Ancient Bearded King, seen in profile’ facing to my left.  I glanced above, and there beheld an enormous luminous cloud of sorts, maybe the spiritual sky.  This luminous pale white cloud was transparent enough to see within it many sparkling points of brilliance, like especially bright stars, but glowing and even moving, though I did not spend much time on any one image, merely witnessing them in passing with little to no judgement nor ability to interpret then.

A huge mountain stood to my immediate left, which seemed to feature a winding path up its’ slope.   I was whisked to the top, where I saw a white chair, or throne, closer still to the Godhead.   I later interpreted this to the sacred mountain of initiation, called Mons Abiegnus or Meru Devadanda, but still this is a bit of guesswork.

An angel appeared to me in this high place, and led me by the hand in flight.  This recalls what I later found described in the Book of Enoch the Prophet, or an encounter with the Metatron, Angel of the Presence.  I was ready with a few questions about reincarnation and out of body experience, and I envisioned the guru Prabhupada, whose organization the Hare Krishnas I had seemingly already encountered, but most of that was happing in ordinary space-time in my natural life, where I was attending lectures, chanting of the maha-mantra, and vegetarian feasts.  I later followed this path as a form of transcendentalism and was very devoted to it for perhaps two to three years.  A large red letter “A” appeared, and at the time I thought it stood for Arjuna, and I interpreted the angel or spiritual being to be Krishna.

The Angel, or Holy Guardian Angel, had me by the left hand and we seemed to be flying.  I could see that it had a golden color, while mine was more silver.  The back of it’s head appeared to be streaming out behind it, as though it were connected by a long train of conscious recollection through lifetimes which it remembered and I did not, directly to the godhead from whence it had emanated.

It led me to an imposing vault, which would have seemed to be to my immediate right had I still been facing the initial altar and king.  This vault had any number of circular gold & silver doors, with handles.  I was inquiring regarding past lives, but communication was somewhat vague, and primarily non-verbal, or post-verbal.   One door in particular was indicated to me, and bore the “secret” number 136.  I interpreted this at the time to be the number of past lives I had lived, but that number bore special Qabalistic significance when I later checked it in Sepher Sephiroth.   136 is the numerical attribution of the magickal square of Jupiter or of Chesed, and also represents Adonay.  I also found that spelling KLIOX as KLIOV, this equals 136.  That word may as well have been the word of a Magus, to me, and has special significance.

*Sepher Rezial:  KLI- Guide by the name. Complete the four gates of the highest universe. (Hebrew: OAaZABH- completes in compassion. The image of four powers guide by the word.  Bind the crown of beauty, of wisdom, guide by all understanding.

KLI is also representative of various Sanskrit words, such as KALI or KLIM, the Dark Mother or Desire.  I believe the word KLIM in Hebrew means, ‘Vessels’ such as those which were broken by the outpouring of the light of emanation and became demons or KLIPPOTH.  I discovered all these attributions and interpretations long after the initial series of visions occurred to me.

The end of the visions was nearing, and it seemed I could only hold this level of awareness for a period of time, like the determinant in how long a person might dream or hold their breath, or use so much fuel.   I perceived a large ornate wooden Wheel, which could be interpreted as the Wheel of Dharma, or of Fortune, also related to the Hebrew letter K, and the path of that letter.  This is a link to various correspondences of that particular path in the Holy Kabballah.  They include Jupiter, the number 4, an Eagle or Praying Mantis, Saffron, Lapis Lazuli, Nightmares, Gasheklah, Brahma-Indra, the Square or Rhombus, Right Discipline, ABA and Philadelphia- Where I was at the time of this spiritual initiation.  This path is called the Intelligence of Conciliiation, uniting Chesed and Netzach.

http://www.thelemapedia.org/index.php/Path_of_Kaph

Above me was a large yin-yang in the colors Indigo-Orange, as complimentary and vibrant, with ornate white tendrils surrounding.  This appeared as I seemed to be coming down from the whole experience, if I remember correctly.

The last thing was perhaps upon waking or just before sleep, which I passed into at some point.  I experienced all of this and woke up with a clear and vivid recollection.  There was something like I had downloaded a new mind or consciousness, or completely overhauled and updated my own.  I had the image of being in a spaceship or behind the helm of a supercomputer.   This whole experience was similar to being abducted or led by choice, or ‘beamed up.’

Another important feature occurred to me soon after, and my mind-state had been radically and permanently altered or restructured to include this enormous set of important visions.  A voice spoke directly into my mind introducing itself saying “Hi,” and “I’m you. I’m your subconscious.”  Whether this was an imposter or the Angel/guide or just another aspect of myself was unclear but at the time I had little choice but to accept this strangeness more or less at face value, although I put it to the question and tested it as much as I could from that point forward.  I found that I was able to contact anyone living or dead via a telepathic link, and continued to be guided in dream, in vision and voice by this largely unseen spiritual intelligence which may have shown or demonstrated itself and other things on many occasions pursuant.

I feel slightly better having gotten this on paper, and with all the blessings of the Holy Ones I pray that it reaches an appropriate and intended audience.  I kept this all secret for many years and did not reveal it to any.  It is challenging to relate this all to the material world or to find much practical use for it.  It is also highly sensitive as it deals with visionary and pseudo-religious or spiritual contents, which were contra-indicated to be kept as secret, and thus revealed only to the wise, particularly the word itself.

Namaste! Abishad! Peace & Wisdom!  Any number of mystical experiences followed this in my continuing prayer and meditation, through dreams, visions and the like.  I had visits from spiritual beings, I had out of body experiences, I had telepathic communication, lucid dreams and such.  I had words and phrases spoken to me and printed indelibly into my mind-stuff.   The first ‘Essential Duality’ imprinted at the time of the initiation was ‘Magic & Mediation’ along with, strangely enough, ‘Goo Goo Dolls’ Ergo, I am not sure how seriously to take this.   That is a band I like well enough but not my favorite and I’m unsure the actual significance.

Interesting to note however, the latter addition of further ‘Essential Dualities,” and words of power, along with magical numbers of significance, and I would go ahead with the mention of several these here.  136, 2 & 6 (astrology and psychology, vertically, second and sixth chakras, also 26 being twice 13, AHBH/AChD Love-Unity, and 26 letters in English alphabet as well as YHWH numerically equaling 26, also I was close to that age, and age took on a mystical significance by the numbers, especially in terms of Magical Primes.

136 The Avenging Angel, fines, penalties, A voice- but 137 QBLH, a reception.

314 Perfect praise (i.e. religious)  Metatron: the Archangel of Kether (cf. 224) Out of the way, remote Shaddai, the Almighty: a name of God  Acacia wood.

The words Abrahadabra, Abraxas, To Mega Therion.

Sha, Adonay, Jeheshua.

Pflirnt, Gava, Clios.  These last three being more related to something else, mysteries, puzzles, magickal words, or evocative of something similar and open to further interpretation.

taking all kinda my fear into the 5th dimension =trembling, its ‘God’or a buddha laughing. check the laugh track … sound takes on new dimension of meaning. hmmm my fears … all phobia, worry & anxiety of such, into the toilet and flushed. by visualization. like I had a dream i handled liquid nitrogen. or maybe i have mercury or something heavy metal in my system. maybe my system is … The Game of Chaos is “Out of Order”… on the fritz, with leaks like cracks in a dam or something, a reservoir of pleasure no doubt. Bring in the, ‘My religion is 50 Krishnas’ Guy. McDonalds, wickedness and Diablerie in general stimulate fear. The buddha yawns. Krishna 1 return to Vishnu heart, now orchestrated in 5D, wait we have to name the dimensions accurately. Have to understand ‘Depth, Breadth, & Scope’ … The Demigods of India, really living for thousands of years and flying through space? That would ‘rock of ages’ ‘heart & soul’ … The grail-cup of Civilization, containing all Essential Dualities… Niceties, Trivium & Absurdity. Dementia, Alsheimers, um…. in to the deeper substrata of my brain perhaps… heart work … a worm or other virus… pesky, nasty… any severe irritant or toxicity of chemicals. Chemtrails & Aliens, though not actively a fear, interesting to consider… um, Abraxas, Satan and such perversion/monstrosity/horror… Pagan belief like Pan demon, Cacodemons… Black Metal is kinda scary… no real taste for it. Tea time! Too much Coffee & Cigs, not enough food, or quality of life/food/air/water… all the elements, ‘balance & harmony in all things’ ‘yoga of self-perfection or relational yoga’ Krishna 2 teach me these please. Faith or Doubt, anything antithetical to what we consider ‘Good’ beginning with bodily composition, but meditators to level two for mediation. Krishna 1 started planking. Exhaustion, Oh, Classic fears…. abandonment, rejection etc. intimacy & commitment. (Really? do I speak for myself or Krishna 2? who started planking.) A combination of things. anything ‘Bad’ Most fears are actually quite mild, except for fear itself- panic, terror as reactionary and radical ideology which kills without mercy, unless of course it has to do just that, including torture. That’s brutal, man. Any kind of Violence what soever, on some very sensitive level, even just loud noise or falling, deep water, hot water boiling point, extremes in temperature, lack of oxygen, nothing too specific but definitely against violence of all sorts. Krishna 3 is all Ahimsa, non-violence, save for sport, recreation? NVC, and Krishna 4 NLP we need him inside our brains tinkering around with the controls. wait, what!? Holy crap! Only 45 more Krishnas to go, because enough of because, or becoming a center of pesilence. Krishnas 5-8 are assigned speculative positions, and assume- dignitary, ambassador, teacher, instructor, tutor, mentor, and fetal position, reserving 1 position, fecal to save the breast for last. Krishna 9 does damage control, 10 Dj’s. 11 is magician extroidinaire. 12 best dancer, etc being the best at any specific thing or category and completely mastering everything until Krishna (24) is just the letter K. (Hereafter refered two as K,) 25, a wheel and turning inside it like a weird gyro type of apparatus or mechanism, these crafts, I just can’t keep up but 27, Helping Hand 28 Mountain Climber, 29, Lion Tamer 30, A bust on a pedestal, 31, best listener, soft tender ear of Sri Radha-Krishna, BalaKrishna, 4armed Krishna, Drug Kingpin Krishna, Pimp-master 9999, number … wow I lost track and completely lost my fear though . Scuba Diver, can do all sort of Diving, the old school diving bell like in Bioshock. master of elements and spirits, greatest memory and recites verse, poetry, knowledge on anything and everything… actually gets almost boring super mastery of everything heaven realm, etc. so, Delerium Incordata, fears… plagarism, court, crookedness in authority figures…. ignorance in general covers seemingly every fear except we have Krishnas relationships, hooray! Gopikrishna, um, skeleton cheerleaders? No fear of Death, Krishna…. Krishna and Socrates, Kinda… All the sexy-time Krishna…. Oh, the Grand Architect of the Universe, and other demi-gods… see? Panderism? Pandas, not terribly frightening, but still could bite or claw if provoked. Oh, wild animals definitely actual legit fear, even fuckin’ squirrels and domesticated dog or cat could legit bite or claw but that’s stupid, eh, both egghead krishna, duncecap krishna, kickass, lunchbox, breakdance, rainman, animatronic, stuffed, image on towel or bathrobe, mug … uh, showering krishna, lady-krishna (pure female version and drag) costume/player Krishna, ballerina, gymnast, we got diplomat, right? ‘Clerk’ ‘Chief of All’ other jobs, writing, military general… That’s kind of a big deal right there, the Liber Al Connection in every religion, the actual link between the various religions of earth. sacred sites, relics… ‘Persons, Places, & Things.’ ‘statistician’ beautician, artisan & apprentice, craftsman, google OMNIVERSE… OH boy…. now we have to look at council of Nebiru or whatever really outlandish Faithist, Urantia book, Mormons, Krishna vs ‘Satan’ or rather God vanquishing, exorcist, 7th day adventist, adventurer, not to confuse the issue, by all means. serpent handling is left to Siva, along with smoking the Ganja. Krishna is ultimate playboy and heartthrob along with being God of the Omniverse manifested before the thoroughly believing eyes of Arjuna, and the whole mythos surrounding possibly the actual battlefield of Kuruksetra, for instance… Open to Mother India, or Russia, or any foreign but strangely familiar and interesting place. Reincarnator, Lama, Buddha himself perhaps entirely different entities, but actual understanding of meaning of religious text, who were the actual historical and mythical persons of the Bible, and what did they experience specifically… could it just be nonsense ? no miracles, no aliens… uh oh, dangerous liasons, fatal attraction, strange attractors, fruit and bedfellows, the strange krishna, artist… famous for a variety of inexplicable reasons, despairing wretch, number 34. Wow, that’s a lot of Krishnas expansions, I suppose. The ‘ I have to do this even though I don’t get paid Krishna. ‘ and the I do it for its own sake cuz its vital and necessary or just cursing, jinxing, hexing, and the abolition, abasement, ritual and altar making for sure. sacrificial offerings, then we look to obscure sources for sure examples of literal practices involving sex, drugs & the occult- but totally legit. Users or practitioners are warned against fucking with floozies, snakes or needles. I hate needles, especially a poke in the eye with anything- cuz my dad was an opthalmologist anyway… or is, but not practicing… anywho… oh, no fear people, condemnation, stagnation, yea back to those three baskets, 1 in the fire 2 in the ground 3 into space 4 krishna as inanimate objects, animator, sculptor, yea backtracking just a bit folks. Timelord, you still with me? Angelic or what- what about the winged persons of lore? YOLO or FOMO. tough choices, being wrong, overexposure, full or partial loss of any sense, degeneration of physical condition or otherwise of personal condition in any category, failure… fears… have to be put in the washing machine and turn that bitch all the way on high. also do not physically abuse your machine or curse at it. be nice to your laundry. Um, paramour, infidel, Comedian! Grocer… Starvation… So I going back and forth between fears and jobs for Krishna, it’s fully full-on pathetic, man. Insanity, as in Losing one’s mind/consciousness/soul… Just saying, praying to any God to help with Fear, but then if God were not real then we would be making ourselves crazy or worse, in some sense. So, the efficacy of prayer, the reality or existence of any sort of God, from any Earth Culture at any point in Earth time or history, or visitations from aliens in fact, in every instance maybe? the possibility of this shit being real and just like, I get beamed up or something, some God is going to give me a good job perhaps? Good lovin? Thanks God!   So happy right now my fellow negroes. Oh, Krishna means Black, as in Niger (Latin) 7 tongues perhaps, oh Book of Revelation and Dharma… Lapis Lazuli and Jasper are there, so I just got kicked into the holy temple. Talking about build an empire, Enoch style, make it hardxcore solomonic in fact, heres a ring of truth my son. I’m like, yea boss. raising the dead, now we have an interesting conversation, moving to Jupiter in a few years, Dad… A town called Jupiter I think. also, Jupiter is my Ishta Dewatta, if my Jyotish is to be at all trusted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter,_Florida oh, telecommunications officer K. fire your guns, like on the ship… why, because the navy. dad was in the navy… Bhairava practice, going back in time and even visiting your own grave, fully self-conscious (fear) self-realized, illumined or enlightened, to the maximum, then turn down for what, cliches, and going unrecognized. then again, ‘Magus Incognito’… either the hoax or the reality of some things could be frightening but interesting, and thats also scary considering horror movies, pedophiles, satanism, hype, sadism, sociopathy/psychopathy, nihilism. possibly anarchism or monarchy, democracy, unpopularity or dissent in the ranks- civil unrest, war, famine, plague, death, yes the four horsemen to the apocalypse of st. john of the cross I think, ‘Christ-Buddha-AGLA’… as I said all the names of God, G_D… the efficacy of prayer, holy eucharist, wise counsel or folly, fools, stupidity at the level of pardon the expression ‘retard strength’ inertia, or vertiginous loss of balance, dischord- although not altogether terrible, can be, disharmony, the Conductor of the train rides in the engine or the caboose- anyway- meaningful conductor, inventor, 54.. oh, the list got extended? wow. New religion, reinvention or rediscovery of the old? the word religion, or God, as offensive in context, or anything I have previously mentioned here, such as blasphemy, ridicule, ostracism, sin, restriction, blackmail, extortion, all actual crime is a little frightening- the dark or ignorant nature of doing something secretly or openly which would hurt an otherwise innocent person or animal for that matter. vegatarian for this reason, ‘sympathetic understanding’ relational yoga 101 link to self-perfection, as a reminder, mental note, gymnastic, masturbatory, reflective, preponderance, cupidity, daimonium of sorts, or gallery, or pages, but not literally such- no physical reality, lacking something vital or necessary, even as a switch to transcend human limitations, let alone baser animal instincts and … well we are god and beast in one, are we not? literal truth of some things, figurative sketch or analysis, a debriefing, trials, tribulations aren’t terrifying, but I think I stepped on a landmine in vietnam… false memory or hope? It’s not a super pleasant thought for me. Kinda scrambled my brain like an egg. survived went to phys rehab? lived happily ever after? Bhairava practice, so-called, to help possible reincarnation, any prejudice or narrow-mindedness, especially my own if any… rooting it out best I can… any tendency toward destruction of self or other, ‘self-other dichotomy’ is lesson 2. ‘Becoming a Buddha’ following in the way or path of Buddha or Christ, alarmingly similar characters, Buddha, Christ, Krishna… idk about the prophet Mohammad, but look for legit connections even within or outside and apart from Dharma, book of the law- false accusations or any sort of attack, harsh criticism, defamation of character, or it’s assassination, improper rationale or ratiocination, insufficent funds, fear of money, etc are mentioned in Liber Al, so it’s worth mentioning at the risk of becoming a ‘center of pestilence’ God, forbid. Aumgn, Ha! ? the statement ‘Death Befalls All Who Question’ indicating some DBAWQ, debauch? a friend named Jamie once wore a shirt that said ‘the wages of sin is death’ perhaps that suck out of my subconscious? Possession by God, Devil, or total preoccupation with something, anything, sort of hypnotized into this, Hynotist 48. Fear, just of energy or in a way exhilarating, but this grows boring. ESP extra sexual perspective? no contraceptive? laxative or diuretic. I covered the broad base or category for context sensitive, and highly controversial subjects- controversy. Other than, ‘repeating myself’ or I definitely run the risk of borrowing from a text which is highly subject to controversy, which I would definitely wish to avoid in any case or instance, although uncle Al did live to a ripe old age, right? The Legacy of bad persons… that is, ‘bad karma’ so I want to rule or root out anything bad primarily in myself or out in the world, as much as possible- how? Probably means you get one question and no answer is guaranteed other than a demise of some sort. Sounds like a bad bet to me. I really resisted the urge to question, brothers and sisters, trust a ‘N-word but in a positive light’ or rather ‘Naming Convention’ my dear sweet brother Numsi! http://youtu.be/eUeda7dRN0E or wor. hon. rev. bro. Nigel from Rigel. Why or why not? that is, Kentucky is the KY state… Jelly or jam? (if you don’t know nevermind.) dirty jokes in bad taste, other embarrassment. I Was going to mention specific diseases like cancer, or gum disease, or getting old, fat, ugly, or being considered in a severely ‘negative’ manner- as such, or ‘Queer’ a ‘slut’ anything specifically negative in judgement of another person, Golden Rule, or Golden Calf, and Brazen Serpent, and Talents of Brass, and Judas the betrayer, cuz there were two judases and the other one Thaddeus, I think was way cooler. The meaning of things I mentioned at all. Ring any bells? any sort of deprivation by design or necessity of others, per se, confusion of any real sort, where it would count or matter, verbosity, or TL;DR! Silence, then Laughter… Anything Broken? Acceptance of D. Rest….. peace…. bliss…. unutterable ecstasy… Or Right Rapture, Back to Buddhism from ‘Vedanta’ Hoping nobody is offended. All rights reserved. actual crimes such as theft, lies and deception, things other people worry or fear too, and see list of phobias for pretty much everything. God is Simplicity Itself, a new or different authority of some kind on any and all of these matters? Arizen. similar to ‘Urizen’ or ‘Lords of the Horizon’… Tau cross, tau ceti, fomalhaut the old man or mouth of the fish. North star & Southern Cross. rampant psychism or spiritism, as before, or it’s complete fabrication and denial. Hocus pocus not the real thing. ‘Mimics’ or mockery. Um, ‘Perdurabo’ I will endure unto the end ‘Abrahadabra’ I will create as I speak. Have Latin Motto surrounding Versicle, Oath, grade etc.  ‘Glamors of the path,’ so called,  or ‘dweller on the threshold’.  This is not the place to discuss personal stories, or to implicate myself in anything,  Apolitical with an Amoral Philosophy, perennial though, perhaps.   Cheers to less and fewer fears! Put in the beer and drink it.  a little anti-fear powder.  Laugh track.  PEACE!